Psychology
Emotional regulation activities for kids, by age
Written by the Hey Sprout team — pending clinician review
Practical emotional regulation activities for toddlers to pre-teens, why co-regulation comes first, how to set up a calm corner, and when to get help.
Written by the Hey Sprout team — pending clinician review
Last updated 31 October 2026
General information with cited sources, not clinical advice. See the Hey Sprout editorial policy for how we write, update and correct pages.
The best emotional regulation activities for kids are short, playful and practised when everyone is calm: naming feelings, breathing games, movement and a calm space to retreat to. Young children can't settle big feelings on their own yet. They learn by being calmed by a trusted adult first, which is called co-regulation, and they slowly take the skills over as they grow.[][]
Below are activities grouped by age, plus what to do in the moment and when to get more help. For background on regulation difficulties and how therapy helps, see our emotional regulation page.
Why co-regulation comes first
Co-regulation is how children learn to manage strong feelings with help from a safe, calm adult. Over time they rely less on that help as they build their own strategies.[] Children also learn self-regulation by watching how the adults around them handle their own feelings.[][]
This changes how you use the activities below. Teaching skills happens when your child is calm. When your child is very upset, your calm presence does the work. It's tempting to say "use your words" or "take some deep breaths", but your child may not be able to respond to suggestions like these until the feeling has passed.[]
Your own state matters too. You're best placed to help your child when you're calm yourself, so look after your own sleep and stress where you can.[]
Activities for toddlers (about 1 to 3 years)
At this age the main job is building a vocabulary for feelings.
- Name it for them. "You're crying. You're frustrated because you can't reach the ball." Label feelings you see in your child, in yourself and in other people.[]
- Play with feelings. Puppet play, singing, reading and messy play all give chances to explore emotions.[]
- Use time-in for big feelings. Get down next to your child, offer a hug or a hand on the shoulder, move somewhere quiet if you can, and name the feeling. Gently stop any hitting or throwing.[]
- Try rhythm and touch. Rocking, swaying and singing can help a small child settle without needing words. Some children find a firm hug calming, but follow your child's lead, because not all children like being held.[]
Activities for preschool and early primary (about 3 to 8 years)
Children this age can start practising simple strategies, as long as it happens through play and at calm times.[]
- Feelings detectives. Talk about how characters in books or shows feel: "Look at Bluey's face. She looks sad."[]
- Body clues. Ask where a feeling lives in the body: "You look nervous. Does your tummy feel wobbly?"[]
- Emotion charades. Choose a feeling like "excited", act it out and take turns guessing.[]
- Breathing games. Blowing bubbles gives a visual cue to breathe out slowly. Five finger breathing, belly breathing and rainbow breathing are other options.[] Counting to 10 or taking five deep breaths are simple ways to start.[]
- A feelings thermometer. Draw a scale from calm to very upset and help your child show where they are.[]
- Safe ways to let feelings out. Agree on actions for each feeling, such as clapping when excited, asking for a hug when sad, or squeezing a cushion hard when angry.[]
- Stop-and-go games. Musical statues and duck, duck, goose help children practise controlling their impulses.[]
- Heavy work. Wheelbarrow races, climbing and jumping give the body strong movement input, which can help children feel calmer and more settled.[]
Activities for older primary children (about 8 to 12 years)
Older children often know the words for feelings but still struggle to spot them as they build.[]
- Spot the early signs. Share your own: "When I was stuck in traffic, my heart was racing and I felt hot. Does that happen to you?"[]
- Make a menu of options. Write a list together of things to do when feelings start building, such as going for a run, listening to music on headphones or meditating. Give plenty of choices.[]
- Step in early. Point out what you notice before it peaks: "You're hitting that keyboard pretty hard. Do you need a break?"[]
- Practise mindful breathing together. Doing it regularly at calm times makes it familiar when your child needs it.[]
- Talk afterwards, not during. Save problem-solving for when your child is calm again.[]
How to set up a calm corner
A calm, quiet space where children can go to de-stress is one of the simplest supports to set up at home or school.[] Useful things to include are soft toys, a blanket, tactile toys, softer lighting and noise-cancelling headphones.[] A glitter bottle also works well: shaking it and watching the glitter settle gives your child something calm to focus on.[]
Introduce the corner when your child is calm, and let them help set it up. Present it as a place to feel better, not a punishment. Younger children will usually need you there with them.
In the moment: five calming steps
When a strong feeling hits, this sequence from Raising Children works for children aged about 3 to 8:[]
- Notice the emotion. Stop and watch your child's body language before you react.
- Name it and link it to the event: "I can see you're angry about turning off the TV."
- Pause and say nothing for a few seconds. Counting slowly to 5 in your head helps.
- Support your child while they calm down. Make sure everyone is safe, and stay calm and close.
- Once your child is calm, deal with the problem or the behaviour.
When to seek help
All children need help with strong emotions sometimes. Consider talking to a professional if your child:[][]
- has more tantrums or outbursts than other children the same age, or more as they get older
- has feelings that seem out of proportion, or that last a long time after the trigger
- goes from calm to very angry very quickly
- goes very quiet, hides or pushes people away when overwhelmed
- behaves in ways that are dangerous to themselves or others
- doesn't respond to the strategies you've been using
Your GP is a good first step. They can help you find a child psychologist, counsellor or occupational therapist, and a school counsellor may also be able to help.[] If anyone is in immediate danger, call 000. If your child talks about hurting themselves, you can also call Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800 or Lifeline on 13 11 14.
When regulation breaks down, meltdown vs tantrum explains how to tell the difference and respond.
Pick one or two activities that suit your child's age and practise them this week at a calm time. If you'd like to talk it through, you can send Hey Sprout an enquiry.
Frequently asked questions
At what age can children calm themselves down without help?
There's no single age. Self-regulation develops most in the toddler and preschool years and keeps developing into adulthood. School-age children get better at it, but even older children and teenagers sometimes need an adult to help them settle, especially when they're tired, unwell or stressed.
Should I tell my child to take deep breaths when they are already upset?
Usually not in the middle of it. Children often can't use a strategy like deep breathing until the strong feeling has passed. Stay close, keep everyone safe and wait. Practise breathing games at calm times so the skill is there later.
Is a calm corner the same as time-out?
No. Time-out sends a child away. A calm corner is a comfortable spot your child can choose to use, often with you nearby at first. For toddlers, the matching approach is time-in, where you stay close and comfort them until they settle.
How often should we practise these activities?
Little and often works best. A few minutes of naming feelings during a book, or a breathing game before bed, is enough. Children learn these skills more easily when they're relaxed, so build practice into ordinary moments rather than saving it for hard ones.
Do these activities work for autistic children or children with ADHD?
Many of them do, with changes. Autistic children and children with ADHD often need extra support to cope with strong feelings and impulses. A psychologist or occupational therapist can help you choose and adapt activities to suit your child's communication and sensory needs.
Keep reading
Meltdown vs tantrum: how to tell the difference
A tantrum is frustration with a goal. A meltdown is overwhelm. How to tell them apart, respond to each, and keep everyone safe, including for autistic and ADHD kids.
ADHD assessment for children: how it works in Australia
Who can diagnose ADHD in children in Australia, the steps in an assessment, what to bring, and how public and private pathways differ.
School refusal: signs, causes and how to help your child
What school refusal (or school can't) is, the early signs, common causes, how to work with the school, and when to involve a GP or psychologist.
How Hey Sprout supports this
References
- Understanding emotions: children & teens — Raising Children Network (Australia), 2024
- Self-regulation in children & teenagers — Raising Children Network (Australia), 2025
- Calming down for children: how to help — Raising Children Network (Australia), 2024
- Time-in: helping toddlers calm down — Raising Children Network (Australia), 2024
- Self-regulation (fact sheet) — Be You (Beyond Blue), 2025
- Strategies for supporting the mental health of infants and children after a disaster: Emotional regulation — Emerging Minds, 2024
